Just to let you hear the truth

The truth is...
I'm a lonely guys in reality. I have no purpose in having this blog. It was just an example of a simple blog for a friend. Afterwards, I had some kind of will, ... , the will to post more to the public. Unfortunately, the truth is, no one IS looking at this, and I'm slowly loosing all my friends... one by one. These are the people I care about most... but no one knows that. I don't even care for my family as much for my friends, which is an irony for a christian like me whose priest told him that during mass. If needed, I guess I wouldn't mind dying for a friend. It's the feeling that I'm hated by everyone and the feeling of loneliness. It driving me insane... and every time I lose a friend, I lose a bit of sanity. I'm sorry 3/5 for being that crazy bastard in your mid-life that has been a bitch to you. that's why I'm posting this:

Bad Day





well, there is a reason why I'm like this...
It started in sec 1, as lively like anyother freshman, talking freely with others... but soon, people became upset because... well, I thought it was the type of talk to talk about, cartoons, games and all... but I was wrong. Soon, afterwards I had a sever case of name calling, I was call and autistic bastard. So shut up for a few months until the mid of sec 2 and it was ok at first, and decided I shouldn't bottle up those feeling I had. this leads to the second song of this posts:

Rooftops




Sec 2 was kind of an emotionally unstable part of my life, everything was wrong including the information given to me (IP screw you f***). This all lead to sec 3 I love my class they are all so friendly and nice to me... but I just had to screw it all. Others may call me sensitive, but the truth is thatno one deserve to see me not give a damn, not matter how much I may look luike I'm not giving a damn, I still do. I hurt a lot of people's feelings when I'm an insensitive bitch.
Anyways, here is the 3rd of the day:

Jenny



and here is the main point:
Perfect

Taking Pain out of my mind

Well,
I'm gonna forget about Valentine's day now and I'm gonna blow the crap out of my self. I remembered this one time I was such a jackass as to forget her birthday BUT not this year! This year I'm gonna do something sentimentally sweet for her as a way to say sorry which speaks out as a friend. Even for Valentine's day I was trying to speak out as a friend but there were 2 flaws. Either, she took it way too hard or she is getting annoyed by it. But the thing is, this gen. ain't that...ain't that... thatgood at seeing sentimentallity (wrong spelling?). Last time I tried being sentimental, didn't end so well.

Here's the clip of the day!:
Shut Up and Drive



and here's a bonus, Im feeling kind lol:
Simple Plan - When I'm Gone



wth:
Arctic Monkeys - Brianstorm



and the last 1:
The Fray - How To Save A Life (Version #2)



next post I'll bring in d that powters song ( bad day lol)

When emotions run high

I have always thought of girls being more emotionally unstable then boys, but in the past few weeks, I have seen this stereotypical thinking being quiet untrue. Rejections, family feuds, friends and even so that I feel the grudge in trying to live. I have contemplated suicide over and over. Infact I can trace it back to when I was 9. even, before that, I do remember, sitting in a corner of my parents bedroom... thinking of life and death. It may seem a bit much but the thruth is that I have always thought of how I came to be such a mystery.

When, I first 'opened my eyes' I remembered nothing but I knew how to talk, I recognized my parents, I could even operate my parents vintage television set... and I would think of the transition between from being in the womb and being out here.

Then I would think of death and god, what is god? Is god real? Will see the darkness and loneliness in that old tomb? Or will I rest peacefully?Then I would imagine the coldness of death... and cry my self to sleep only to wake up as if I had never had such terrible thoughts before.

PS: I want to mention that you shouldn't leave your friends hanging. When I was very young, still in the states though, I was used by this young indian lady who was suffering from deppression... she was always so happy when she looked at me. Then one day she looked at me and cried... afetr that, I never saw her again, neither did I mention about her.

Well, anyways, here are the clips of the day
1973





and here is a great new song:
Shadow of The Day




But no matter what I feel today, I don't wanna end so sadly;
so here's something to chew on:
Thanks for the memories

Hello readers, well antone who even looks at this page.
Well, I know a lot of people will never look at my blog but its still a way for me... anyways heres a very good band. a geek band! something i have been waiting for for years!




Well hope you enjoyed it, coz I thought it pwned! anyways life is per usual except that I lost 2 of my friends now...That's why I say screw valentines... you see, there is this girl that I liked (as a friend) and I was thinking 'Hey! why not do something for her?' So I bought her a rose... thenafterwards (she doesn't knoes!) I talked to her and somehow I managed to find out that she hates roses and she gets Them every year! and in the end it turned into some sort of anger inside me. Then finally valentines came and I... lets just say I suck. It was all my fault I lost a friend... I missed the good old times like friends... this is why I chose to reflect on what I do b4 I hurt my friends feelings and stuff. But wtf is my problem? Just today I hurt someone elses feelings. man fuck me... I'm gonna change, for myself, my selfish self...

to end off this post... here another wannabe groupie but they are awesome!





ps dont ask me about the ending

stupidity

here you go!

The Darwin Awards, Part 2 Another beautiful video montage of jackasses and douchebags earning themselves a spot on Charles Darwin`s Best Of list.

Paramore

Another of my favourites...(I think shes cute omg the shallowwness)

well, I said stupidity but I also love music, I mean the most meanigful thing to a teenager would be his music... especially for me because I need music to stay intouch with the world some times...

So, heres my favourite fob song and I'm posting it so hopefully it won't die out:





and here is a more recent song which I think deserved a lot more attention though:






another fob fav, I sanged it softly it during class last year. The girl beside me said I sing quite well, unfortunately I don't believe in modesty anymore...







Well, this is just the beginning of it all, song can describe all of us or the feeling we feel... sadly im human and I don't know how to control the feelings I have. That's why on this post I'm saying thanks to all of my friends...



Especially to that pissed of friend of mine...
For a long time now, I've relied on her for support because she seemed to understand it all...
she was always happy and all but things changed and I think she got mad at me...
its time things changed... I can't no pussy no more. I'm trying to change (it might seem that I'm just saying that but thats what I want to do deep down in my heart) just for her.
She ain't my girlfriend or anything, she's just a friend.

Dear readers,
welcome to my blog, I can asure all of you that you will find nothing more or less in this blog, except for the mindless stupidity of stunts and so on. So I know all off you hate leaving blogs empty handed so im gonna try embedding a video clip for you guys to watch